No Smoking

Ashes fallen on a bar room floor, a reminder of painful past and stresses of the day. Passers by kick aside, unaware of the black and gray streaked across the floor. I guess it’s easily overlooked, but as the ashes are blown away to nothing but dust, but my awareness of something drawn deep within someone’s breath and blown out without thought, is someone’s life is slowly fading away.

Goes to show reality is never escaped, just eluded for a while. Aware of ashes kicked aside could the reality be grasped? What if love be drawn in like cigarettes? Inhaled deep within our lungs surrounding our hearts, healing the pain making us strong, so that there’s no more ashes on the floor

Etha 5/6/99
Rewrite 1/5/13

Light House

Looking down in deep abyss

Anticipating a single kiss

Apprehension in the wind

Fearless to begin again

Heated waters of passions flow

Friendship that we’ve come to know

Swimming in the waters deep

Sharing secrets that we keep

It’s easy to promise forevermore

Because infinity is what we had before

Making up for our world gone bad

For the deepest love we’ve ever had

If I never get to touch your face

Or ever feel your warm embrace

My heart still beats in time with yours

And I’ll still be swimming toward your shore

EW 4/17/2012

Mourning is Over

As spring arrives
and the days get longer
My sun gets brighter
and I get stronger
No longer a struggle
to crawl out of bed
and fewer what if’s
swimming round in my head
No longer falling
apart at the seams
finally accepting
what all of it means
it’s over, it’s done,
it’s time to arrange
adjust to new life
and a much needed change
A whole new meaning
for this year’s spring cleaning
with a healing heart
a new song I’ll be singing

EEW
2/27/12

Letting Go

No more sleeping with the lies I told myself

When it comes to the blame there is nobody else
For me to be free It’s up to me
To let go of the things I chose to believe
Time passes by and so does my youth
makes it harder to hide away from my truths
For me to fly and flitter around
first I must learn to let go of the ground
I have loved and I have yearned
I have crashed and I have burned
I peel away ashes to reveal a new me
unafraid of the image that others will see
I’ll pick up the ashes an blow them away
I’ll let go of the why that you wouldn’t stay
I forgive and I choose to forget
refusing to have a life of regrets
I’ll take the good and leave the bad
When I look back on what we had
See, I’ve learned when to move and when to be still
and what you couldn’t love somebody else will

Etha Walters
2/27/12

Can’t Go Home Again

I was excited,

when you invited me to your home
It was the very place we learned, 

we would never be alone
But when I arrived you were barely recognizable, 

something had changed within
You wasn’t the person that I remembered, 

although you wore her skin

I looked harder, I found glimpses 

of what I had left behind
But the deeper I went I realized 

they were just memories in my mind
I stopped to get to know you, 

and the person you had become
I couldn’t wait to share with you 

the journey I had begun

But conversation stuck in a loop 

going round and round again
It was then I realized 

that my best friend was dead.

I denied it with ever fiber,

 fought it with all my might
Believed I could breathe in life again,

 if I could just get you to light
but the darkness of your home,

the cobwebs in your head
You gave up humanity,

and hold poison close instead

As you slowly start to decompose, 

I wrestle with leaving you here
I credit you for my healing, 

and it’s something I hold dear.
We were soldiers in a battle,

 I had thought we had won the war
We were standing in the clear 

but you wasn’t behind me anymore
That is why I came back to get you,

 not accepting a casualty
I’ve come back to fight for you

and to heal you like you did me

As you try to persuade me, 

to take up residence in your house
I realized if I stay too long, 

I would never make it out
I know that you are really gone, 

many tears I am going to cry
But it’s time for me to go now, 

I must tell you goodbye

By Etha Walters
11/11/11

Back to Blank

by: Etha Walters

To say goodbye to yesterday seems a little late
Its out the door and it can’t hear you cry
But echoes of the slamming door come rushing down the hall
and they fade into the walls as they pass by

Can’t rewind and start again or find the place to begin
what time is it when all you can stand is still
color fades to black and white and pails compared to empty nights
on easel canvas waits till brush is filled

Peeling pages back to blank
another ship that has sank
looking somewhere for the strength
to sail again

another battle not been won
another song that wont be sung
so I am peeling all the pages back to blank

Pen in hand I go to write once upon a time
but words get stuck somewhere between the lines
Picked up my paint brush all the colors fade away

I guess all I can do is sit and wait

Wounds have to heal so I can move
there is nothing left for me to lose
Because I took all of those pages back to blank

Twisted Unbroken

Just because you think I am broken

It doesn't mean that I need fixed,

To mold into your conformity

So I can access your mediocre plain

Don't bring cookie cutters

to find the perfect shape

I am what I am 

I know that's hard for you to take

I won't apologize

it’s what I live with every day

Twisted deformity

I am not ashamed

And I won't be your project

to feed your superficial needs

I have my own ideas my own needs and

Contrary to what you believe

The world will meet me halfway

When I show her what I have to offer

And reach out my hands to grab hers

Don't assume that because I'm challenged

I am crippled

Or because I'm twisted

I need molded

The reality is I'm not broken

I am resilient and strong

And I won’t sit in a corner or on the sidelines

For I know …

There is a place that is right for me

The right hand for me to hold

And there are many paths to my destination

And I will make my own choices in how I go