No Smoking

Ashes fallen on a bar room floor, a reminder of painful past and stresses of the day. Passers by kick aside, unaware of the black and gray streaked across the floor. I guess it’s easily overlooked, but as the ashes are blown away to nothing but dust, but my awareness of something drawn deep within someone’s breath and blown out without thought, is someone’s life is slowly fading away.

Goes to show reality is never escaped, just eluded for a while. Aware of ashes kicked aside could the reality be grasped? What if love be drawn in like cigarettes? Inhaled deep within our lungs surrounding our hearts, healing the pain making us strong, so that there’s no more ashes on the floor

Etha 5/6/99
Rewrite 1/5/13

Light House

Looking down in deep abyss

Anticipating a single kiss

Apprehension in the wind

Fearless to begin again

Heated waters of passions flow

Friendship that we’ve come to know

Swimming in the waters deep

Sharing secrets that we keep

It’s easy to promise forevermore

Because infinity is what we had before

Making up for our world gone bad

For the deepest love we’ve ever had

If I never get to touch your face

Or ever feel your warm embrace

My heart still beats in time with yours

And I’ll still be swimming toward your shore

EW 4/17/2012

Mourning is Over

As spring arrives
and the days get longer
My sun gets brighter
and I get stronger
No longer a struggle
to crawl out of bed
and fewer what if’s
swimming round in my head
No longer falling
apart at the seams
finally accepting
what all of it means
it’s over, it’s done,
it’s time to arrange
adjust to new life
and a much needed change
A whole new meaning
for this year’s spring cleaning
with a healing heart
a new song I’ll be singing

EEW
2/27/12

Letting Go

No more sleeping with the lies I told myself

When it comes to the blame there is nobody else
For me to be free It’s up to me
To let go of the things I chose to believe
Time passes by and so does my youth
makes it harder to hide away from my truths
For me to fly and flitter around
first I must learn to let go of the ground
I have loved and I have yearned
I have crashed and I have burned
I peel away ashes to reveal a new me
unafraid of the image that others will see
I’ll pick up the ashes an blow them away
I’ll let go of the why that you wouldn’t stay
I forgive and I choose to forget
refusing to have a life of regrets
I’ll take the good and leave the bad
When I look back on what we had
See, I’ve learned when to move and when to be still
and what you couldn’t love somebody else will

Etha Walters
2/27/12

The Lioness Within

I've had fast food,
yeah, I've had the dollar menu,
and indulged in the occasional smorgasbord,
but what I really crave,
what really wakes me at night with longing
is that slow cooked meal
where everything is organic and real.
It is a taste that can't be satisfied
just anywhere
and it is a hunger
that won't settle for a cheap imitation.

So I starve,
I starve by choice
because I would rather go without
than feed my body something
that is not healthy or good for it.
Sure I have hunger pains
that shutter through my pit,
but it is nothing compared
to the muck that gives me heartburn.

So I am a lioness,
a lioness who paces and waits
Wanting to pounce and devour
My claws extend and retract
with nothing to sink into
Wild with roaring anticipation
alone with my salivation
and heavy breath
waiting for the right moment,
the right opportunity
to feast

The Test

She scowled at him from the other side of the table. “You are going to have to be one stubborn son of a bitch to survive loving me.” she said as if to test his willingness to get involved. He sat there looking into her eyes. He knew he couldn't look away or even blink. It was another one of her tests. Breaking the gaze she looked down. She softened as if she put down her weapons and a childlike expression crossed her face. “I will test your endurance to the breaking point and I will keep pushing till you are gone, or broken, or...' Her eyes met his again. 'I won't mean to, my defenses go into auto mode and before I know what hit me there is a whirlwind of debris and a horrible memory of what I have done....” Her voice trailed off and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Without thinking he stood up and pulled her up into his arms. Her body trembled against him as he tightened his grip, as if to envelope her and protect her from her own hell. She was probably right, loving her might kill him, or maybe he is already dead bouncing between heaven and hell. She melted into him gripping him with all the vulnerability of a frightened child. Are more of these tender moments going to be worth it? Probably not, But this is what he has and he has no choice but to take it. He loves her and with faith that if he holds on long enough the walls will come down and she will be his. “I'm as stubborn as they come.” he whispered.

Hope

I coast through this life
like I am swimming against the current.
Trying to fuel determination
while the support system gets flooded and stalls

Im too stubborn to give up
Too passionate to go numb
and believe me I tried

Reality would have us believe
that we all guard our hearts
as if bandits were holding us at gunpoint
and we stand in the mirror
trying to convince ourselves
that it doesn’t matter.

We are too busy for human contact
and everyone wants to play games anyway
We are really better off
stuck in our cycle of going to work,
going to school,
loving whoever is around
and hitting the fast food joints on the way home.

I say reality is a liar.
While reality is true for some
and appears to be so for many others
there are still those souls
that walk a little slower,
open the doors for strangers
and will take the time
to wait in line for a table
to have a dinner to be enjoyed over conversations.

Nights to be savored and devoured
and left with a starving hunger for more.
Love that leaves you breathless
and feeling intoxicated at the mere mention of a name.