The Lioness Within

I've had fast food,
yeah, I've had the dollar menu,
and indulged in the occasional smorgasbord,
but what I really crave,
what really wakes me at night with longing
is that slow cooked meal
where everything is organic and real.
It is a taste that can't be satisfied
just anywhere
and it is a hunger
that won't settle for a cheap imitation.

So I starve,
I starve by choice
because I would rather go without
than feed my body something
that is not healthy or good for it.
Sure I have hunger pains
that shutter through my pit,
but it is nothing compared
to the muck that gives me heartburn.

So I am a lioness,
a lioness who paces and waits
Wanting to pounce and devour
My claws extend and retract
with nothing to sink into
Wild with roaring anticipation
alone with my salivation
and heavy breath
waiting for the right moment,
the right opportunity
to feast

Neon Lies

I've kissed a thousand guitars
dancing with my ear against the amplifier
I have cried in my beer
more times than I can count

I've stood against walls
that leave residue on your fingertips
smoke filled rooms
and ashes fall to the ground

I've spent neon nights watching the door
for the one that will never come
but it is nothing compared
to pretenders in the dark

Reality breaks with the sun
viewing the lies their face
hid by the neon lights
so its off to find another one

When I had my fill
of heartbreak
scars of which I carved myself
cant plead ignorance
when deep inside I knew

So I just got up and walked out
without looking back
I traded the neon lights
for the truth of the sun

Haunted

I catch a glimpse of him sometimes

In a crowded room

In the corner of my eye

As I walk down the hall

I am haunted

I hear his voice sometimes

Far beyond the crowded street

He is whispering my name

As he breathes

And I am haunted

I feel his touch sometimes

Deep within the night

Between the sheets

Across my thighs

I am haunted

He is not a memory

He is not a ghost

He is but a dream

A wish

Of what I hope will be

The Test

She scowled at him from the other side of the table. “You are going to have to be one stubborn son of a bitch to survive loving me.” she said as if to test his willingness to get involved. He sat there looking into her eyes. He knew he couldn't look away or even blink. It was another one of her tests. Breaking the gaze she looked down. She softened as if she put down her weapons and a childlike expression crossed her face. “I will test your endurance to the breaking point and I will keep pushing till you are gone, or broken, or...' Her eyes met his again. 'I won't mean to, my defenses go into auto mode and before I know what hit me there is a whirlwind of debris and a horrible memory of what I have done....” Her voice trailed off and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Without thinking he stood up and pulled her up into his arms. Her body trembled against him as he tightened his grip, as if to envelope her and protect her from her own hell. She was probably right, loving her might kill him, or maybe he is already dead bouncing between heaven and hell. She melted into him gripping him with all the vulnerability of a frightened child. Are more of these tender moments going to be worth it? Probably not, But this is what he has and he has no choice but to take it. He loves her and with faith that if he holds on long enough the walls will come down and she will be his. “I'm as stubborn as they come.” he whispered.

Remembrance

Remembrance

You wandered in through my dreams last night
Lost but forgiving of pain
I never meant to cause
I approached you with caution

Fearing you would fade if I touched you
You quieted that fear
grabbing me
pulling me into your arms

I didn’t want to let go
I took that moment
Breathing in your scent
Feeling your warmth next to mine
My heart could beat again

You spoke of the heartbreak you ran to when you ran from me
You spoke of the escape
From the prison you found yourself in
Running from one situation
into the next and back again
You said you were tired and home to stay

Then, the unthinkable happened

The vision of you faded
My eyes opened and I curled in my bed
Reaching for remembrance of a moment that was gone.

Etha Walters
October 11, 2009

New Drawing - Don't Leave

New Drawing - Woman

New Drawing - Jada's Dreams

Charcoal on pink 80p paper

New Drawing - Sorrow

I am so happy with the way that this turned out, I almost gave up on it a couple of times but I am really happy with the outcome. I have so much to learn when it comes to drawing but as long as I can see improvement each time I do it I get a little closer to braving painting...LOL I am a bit fanatical about fantasy and that obviously my inspiration for a lot of what I do.

The Tide

Drift me onto oblivion,
abandon rationale
Rock me into dreams of Forbidden passions
Sing me a lullaby
for you have a gentle voice
Sailing deep into the moment
Drifting on the tide

Sheet like waves wrapping around our legs
Breath is hot and deep
Moist sweet kisses mindlessly dancing where they please
And I sing with anticipation’s sighs
Build upon the crashing waves
till they silently subside
We rest on the shores we’ve created for only us
in drifting echoes as dreams beckon sleep
Until the tide comes in again

Words

One can be touched by words...Truly! The right words can touch so deeply that it transcends space and time and fuses with your soul and becomes a part of you. In fact in my philosophical state of mind I will go so far as to say that words shape the view of the world, of life and of love… So why am I so out of words when it comes to you? My heart fills up, I engage with your eyes, I open my mouth… and nothing....

Deceit

Deceit is like a poisonous vine, that once planted and cultivated and nurtured, it grows so quickly it will choke out everyone you love, till you are left, isolated and alone
With a destruction that can ripple through your life, for years and quite possibly generations after you are gone.

Seduction

We sat in the restaurant. I could do nothing but toy with my french fries unconsciously swirling one in circles in my ketchup. I looked up and was caught captive by his blue eyes peering through his sandy bangs. He smiled knowingly at me slowing his moves as he put down his fork and pulled a piece off his barbecued chicken with his fingers and brought it to up to his mouth. He licked the barbecue on his fingers before opening his mouth and tearing off a bite with his teeth and savoring it and slowly licked his lips. My gaze never left his as he smiled. His message was clear. I was his next meal.

The Freight Train

He came at me like a freight train magnificent and powerful, steady and unwavering. His voice was like the whistle blowing and his light shined into its path to me. Charging… getting louder and louder and closer and closer. My heart began to pound a rhythm of warning. My body shook with anticipation and fear, but my hesitation didn’t effect the speed of this magnificent train, he knew his destination and he was not going to stop till I was under him and a part of him, so I did what any human would do when met with such force… I jumped out of the way.

Hope

I coast through this life
like I am swimming against the current.
Trying to fuel determination
while the support system gets flooded and stalls

Im too stubborn to give up
Too passionate to go numb
and believe me I tried

Reality would have us believe
that we all guard our hearts
as if bandits were holding us at gunpoint
and we stand in the mirror
trying to convince ourselves
that it doesn’t matter.

We are too busy for human contact
and everyone wants to play games anyway
We are really better off
stuck in our cycle of going to work,
going to school,
loving whoever is around
and hitting the fast food joints on the way home.

I say reality is a liar.
While reality is true for some
and appears to be so for many others
there are still those souls
that walk a little slower,
open the doors for strangers
and will take the time
to wait in line for a table
to have a dinner to be enjoyed over conversations.

Nights to be savored and devoured
and left with a starving hunger for more.
Love that leaves you breathless
and feeling intoxicated at the mere mention of a name.

Introduction

Dreams and wishes escape my thoughts and spill out on paper or in this case computer screen. They have set in my hard drive collecting dust and they call for me like lost children who just want to find their way home. So I feel that it is time for me to share them. As winter sets in and my mobility gets more challenged I thought that this project would be a great start at sharing some of my poetry, prose, and randome thoughts and I may throw a little art and photography in to the mix just to add a little flavor. So it starts :)

This is picture that I drew last winter and I thought it may be a good tribute to the beginning of winter and this new blog.